We at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Church hope that your wedding day will be a wonderful celebration of the Sacrament of Matrimony and a day of great joy for you, your families and friends.  This packet has been designed to help you plan your wedding day.  The guidelines below should assist you in making all the elements of your wedding celebration at St. Elizabeth’s a happy one.  At the end of this packet there are some forms that will help you plan the ceremony; there is a ceremony selection form, a guest celebrant form, and a music selection form.

THE PLACE OF THE WEDDING  According to the appropriate canon law governing the celebration of marriage, the wedding must be celebrated in a parish church (either the bride’s or the groom’s).  You should, therefore, be a registered, active, participating member of the parish where you want to receive the sacrament.

PREPARATION  Every couple planning to be married must undergo a process of preparation.  The directives from the Catholic Bishops of Missouri require that the couple contact the parish priest and begin the preparation at least six months prior to the desired wedding date.  It consists of taking FOCCUS (a tool to assess a couple’s readiness for marriage), discussing the results of that with the minister celebrating the ceremony, and participating in one of the following three programs:  our Parish Preparation Program, OR the Archdiocesan program Preparing for Christian Marriage, OR the Engaged Encounter Weekend.

THE CELEBRANT OF YOUR WEDDING  Any Catholic priest or deacon, in good standing with the Church, may celebrate your wedding here at St. Elizabeth’s.  Normally, the priest or deacon who celebrates the marriage also completes the preparation with the bridal couple.  Should you desire a celebrant other than one of the priests or deacons assigned to St. Elizabeth’s, please complete the Guest Celebrant Form at the back of this pamphlet.

THE DATE AND TIME OF YOUR WEDDING  As mentioned above, please contact one of the priests of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton at least six months prior to the desired date.  Be sure that the church and priest are available for your wedding before you make final plans with others involved in the wedding or reception.   Please don’t book the hall before you have a firm date with the church. 

Weddings are usually held on Friday evenings at any time and on Saturdays between 11:00 AM and 2:00 PM.  Due to the regular use of the Church for confessions and Mass we will not begin a wedding any later than 2:00 PM on Saturday.

Although weddings may be held in Advent (the four weeks before Christmas) and Lent (the six weeks before Easter), we discourage weddings during these seasons.  According to the liturgical law of the Church, weddings celebrated during Advent or Lent MUST observe the spirit of the season.  The spirit of these seasons is a time of preparation marked by a simplicity of life.  Weddings during Lent and Advent, therefore, ought to have simpler wedding parties with respect to their number and adornment.  Only two attendants to the bride, simple flowers in the sanctuary, and nothing other than a single stem in the hands of the bride or bridesmaid would be simpler.  The music used at wedding celebrations at this time ought to reflect the character of the season.  Whatever decorations have been put up in the church during Advent or Lent, such as purple banners or advent wreaths, will not be moved or altered; those decorations represent the characteristic of the season for every celebration, including the sacrament of marriage.

REHEARSAL  The half-hour rehearsal time will be with the wedding party and others involved with the liturgy.  (Any musical rehearsal should take place at another time.)  It should be scheduled based upon the availability of the Church.  Priority for scheduling Friday evening rehearsals will always be secondary to the scheduling of weddings on Friday evenings.  Out of reverence for Christ present in the tabernacle, appropriate dress and conduct is expected at all times.  Alcoholic beverages are not permitted on the premises at the rehearsal or on the wedding day.

THE WEDDING PARTY  You may have as many people as you wish in your wedding party except during the seasons of Advent and Lent.  During those seasons, which call us to a simplicity of life, there should be no more than four members of the wedding party, which four includes the best man and maid of honor (with the bride and groom that makes a total of six wedding party members).  If the wedding party you have invited is unusually large (beyond 16 members, including the bride and groom), there will not be enough room to place kneelers around the steps of the sanctuary.  Wedding parties that large will have their members seated in the front pews on the side aisles of the church.

Before you ask them to participate in the ceremony, please take into consideration the age of the ring bearer and flower girl(s) and junior bridesmaid(s) so that they may perform their function in the ceremony adequately.

You may want to incorporate friends or family members into the wedding ceremony:  having one or two persons proclaim the readings from Sacred Scripture, announcing the prayer intentions at the Prayers of the Faithful, or (if the ceremony is within Mass) presenting the bread and wine at the preparation of the gifts.

PREPARATION OF THE WEDDING LITURGY  The wedding liturgy has two forms, either a wedding within the Mass or a wedding without the Mass.   It is presumed that the former is the normal manner of celebration when both the bride and the groom share our Catholic faith.  The option for a wedding without Mass is preferred when either the bride or the groom do not share our Catholic faith.  In this way the celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage, a sacrament of unity, will not be followed by a sign of disunity—only a portion of the invited guests being able to participate in the Sacrament of the Eucharist.  It is understood, furthermore, that when the Sacrament of Marriage is celebrated between a Catholic and an unbaptized person that the rite of Marriage without Mass is the proper manner of celebration.

The wedding liturgy should be planned with the priest or deacon who will be the official witness of the church at your wedding.  He will help you to prepare a ceremony which speaks of your love united in the love of Jesus Christ.  The rest of the material in this brochure will assist you in the preparation of the ceremony.  The following elements of the ceremony may require special attention.

MUSIC  Music that is selected for the ceremony in church, before, during and afterward, must be appropriate to the sacred character of the wedding liturgy.  Therefore, all music to be used in church must be of a sacred character; show tunes, love songs, popular music and the like, while perhaps very eloquent in its evocation of the meaning of love and commitment, will be more appropriate for the celebration at the reception following your wedding liturgy.

Our parish music director, Mary Poettker, at 441-6642, will help you choose suitable musical selections for the wedding liturgy—all music for weddings must be approved by her.  Mary also makes herself available to perform music at wedding liturgies here at St. Elizabeth’s.  Likewise, Marilyn Weber, at 946-7736, is available to perform music at weddings here.  You may choose other musicians to perform your wedding music; please discuss this with the priest or deacon who is helping to prepare you for the sacrament of marriage for approval.

DECORATIONS  Flowers are not required, but are welcome.  Flowers or floral arrangements should not be placed on the altar table itself.

Please do not affix decorations to any surface in church in a manner that will cause damage or mar the furniture (any tape, glue, epoxy, tacks, metals that will scratch, or the like, are prohibited).  Try to treat the furniture in our church the way you would treat the furniture in your own home.  Please make sure to inform whoever is placing your decorations of these requirements.

Scattered rice, birdseed, confetti, flower petals, or similar substances are not permitted.  Out of consideration for the safety of your guests and the appearance of the church and its grounds (we have no maintenance staff on weekends), we ask that you not use the aforementioned items.  Balloons are not permitted in the church or the foyer of church.

We ask that you appoint someone in your wedding party, the groomsmen or the ushers are likely candidates, to clean up after your wedding.  They should help to put back the kneelers; remove tissues or programs from church pews; remove flower pieces strewn about the floors of the church, foyer, or basement; remove the boxes in which flowers or other decorations have arrived; and to clean the debris in the restrooms downstairs where the bridesmaids have readied themselves.  There is a dumpster by the school cafeteria where all the debris can be placed. 

We ask, please, that you leave the church in the same condition in which it was found.  Please inform whoever may be decorating for your wedding.

PHOTOGRAPHS  Photos may be taken during the ceremony.  Posed shots may be taken in the foyer of the church or the garden areas surrounding the church.  The photographer should be instructed to be as inconspicuous as possible.

Video may be shot during the ceremony, but the videographer must be instructed to pick an inconspicuous spot and to remain stationary throughout the ceremony. 

Please inform whomever you arrange to shoot pictures of your wedding of our guidelines.

STIPENDS  The parish asks a fee of $150.00 for parishioners who marry at St. Elizabeth; for non-parishioners the fee is $300.00.  If the church supplies servers for the wedding it is customary to offer the servers a gift of $5.00 or $10.00 each.  The church fee does not include the organist or musicians.  The church fee does include $25.00 for the priest or deacon officiating at your wedding.

Suggested Scripture Readings for the Wedding Ceremony

          The Liturgy of the Word, a proclamation of the Sacred Scriptures, is a major part of any wedding ceremony.  The following readings are offered to help you select the texts for your wedding.  On the last page of these guidelines there is a form, the ceremony selection form, where you can mark down all of your selections.  The priest or deacon working with you in your wedding preparation can help guide you through this.  These are the readings the church suggests for a wedding; they, however, do not exhaust the riches of the scriptures in the bible.  The minister working with you to prepare your wedding can help you find other scripture readings for your wedding should you so desire.  All of these selections do speak to the nature of love and marital commitment.  The wedding Mass or service would normally have four selections from the bible in this order:  a reading from the Old Testament, a responsorial psalm (normally sung), a reading from the New Testament (other than a Gospel reading), and a reading from one of the four Gospels.